Thursday, March 28, 2013

Huff Post: Do We Ever Outgrow Our Lust For Bad Boys?

My comment doesn't seem to be going through on Huff Post"s Do We Ever Outgrow Our Lust For Bad Boys?

So, I will put it here. Commenter mikeholloway said:

"What puzzles me is why so many women insist on being puzzled about it. You're a primate. Primate females are attracted to alpha males. The only thing to be puzzled about is why human females, supposedly intelligent, don't use this knowledge to their advantage and find a nice, intelligent, and lonely man sitting at home and terminally depressed. Save that sucker and they'll be your slave for life. "


My response:

Because attraction isn't a choice. The bad boy - in addition to the bad stuff - treats himself with respect, always, everywhere, with everyone.

Instead of trying to convince women to feel attraction for "nice guys", we need to teach those nice guys to treat themselves with respect. (e.g., Showing up to the first date with candy and flowers, and then taking her to an expensive restaurant is not treating yourself with respect. What has she done for him at that point in the relationship to deserve him doing so much for her?)

If you don't treat yourself with respect, she can't feel respect for you; if she can't feel respect for you, she can't feel attraction for you. Attraction is not a choice. Appreciation is not attraction.

If you weren't "born Alpha", don't give up; like Led Zeppelin said, it's never too late to change the road you're on.